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The Oakland community has had a rough start to 2023. In 111 days three young men under the age of 40 have been lost. This can be hard on a large community, but in a small community it becomes a greater grief encrusted weight. Often we feel that we should just move on, that we all will process and move on in our own ways and that will be that. However, these times of multiple grief inducers often result in unresolved grief from many in the community. There are often indicators that this is true, but we must know what to look for. We must also realize that each of us is also going through other grief producers simultaneously. That could be loss of a job, a change in income, the breakup of a relationship, or the death of others we are connected to in some way. What we must remember is that we are a community. In the case of Oakland United Methodist Church, a Community of Faith, a Faith Family.
So, how do we go about working through our own grief, while continuing to support others who grieve, some more deeply than we ourselves? We are all familiar with the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. What we often don't talk about is what grief "does" to us. We rarely speak of the physical impact; the dreams, the sleeplessness, the loss of appetite, never feeling like we can eat enough, drink enough, cry enough, love enough, do enough, be enough, scream enough. Howard Clinebell suggests that we do need to focus on survival and working through our grief, it's also important to look at how we move past survival and into a season of growth as we move forward to heal as completely as possible. As in the stages of grief, each will work through these tasks in different ways and in different time, but they help us to grieve in a healthy manner. Task I: Deal with Numbness and Shock Task 2: Expressing and Talking through Feelings as They Are Gradually Released Task 3 and 4: Coping and Then Rebuilding Task 5: Enhancing Spiritual and Ethical Wholeness Task 6: Reaching Out for Mutual Support and Care We know that in some cases we never quite completely heal from grief, especially when we experience a grief that is tragic or untimely. Our goal is to come through grief together, able to share our experiences, tears, love and laughter. “It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” Deuteronomy 31:8 We come through grief with Jesus. Our Savior, our hope, our joy. We come through grief together, as a community and a Family of Faith. We come together to love each other through the times we can't imagine getting through on our own. Together we are so very much better, in mind, body, spirit and grief. Be blessed, be a blessing, and take someone with you on the journey, Pastor Kim
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Reflections from Pastor KimI will be the first one to stand up and admit that I have little knowledge of this world, and even less wisdom, in the grand scheme of things. Why do I say that? Over the years I have spent much time living life, digging into scripture, and praying that somewhere in the midst I can come close to being who a lifetime of faith in God, Son and Holy Spirit has called me to be at a given time, in a given place. I may know why, but I don't necessarily understand most of why people do what they do or make the choices they do, but I've not been called to be the person who has to understand to love. Instead, I am called to love, regardless. Like a large majority of people, I can say things that might not reflect love, when it is indeed my intent. This is a foible - a weakness - of humanness; to not always live or speak as we know we should. We are all weak in one aspect or another, but what if we decided together to not be weak in love? To that end, I need you to know that you are loved. Period. You have sacred worth. Period. I could care less what your political viewpoints are, what religion (or lack thereof) you follow, who you choose to be your life partner, what your upbringing was or was not, how much money you do or do not have in the bank, what decisions you've made or not made, the silence you have kept, the truths you have told, the secrets you have harbored, the life you have led, where you are either spiritually, emotionally, physically, or mentally. What I do care about immensely is you. Just you, where you are. I vow here and now to be a person who is safe to talk to about whatever it is you need to talk about, whenever you need to talk. I vow to help talk things through with you and find best next steps for you. I vow to walk with you in the ways that I am called, and helping you find safe alternatives when I am called to be still. I vow to see your sacred worth. I vow to love you for who you are. It feels like it isn't much to give, this thing we call love. A large majority of today's society would tell us that indeed, we should DO something. That is what these vows entail, DOING something. Perhaps that is what has permeated our society; a need to have X, Y and Z happen before we love, instead of raining love on someone and then seeing how we help them be their best selves, even if we don't quite understand what that looks like ourselves. We represent ourselves as people of faith, so why is it so hard to let faith-filled love lead the way? As we move toward the season of resurrection, we remember a Savior who didn't ask the man on each side of him as the three clung to life if they had been baptized, confirmed, taken communion, signed on the dotted line, lived a certain way or said the right prayer. Instead to the one who challenged his Messiahship, Jesus, in scripture, did not answer. To the one who asked to be remembered, Jesus simply said, "Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise." (Luke 23:43 NRSVUE) This is the love we strive to reflect, the love we strive to give. This is a love that is safe, a love that is free of encumbrance, except to utter the name, "Jesus." You are loved. You have sacred worth. When we understand these two things about ourselves we become a bit closer to being whole, a bit closer to being our best selves, a bit closer to Jesus, a bit closer to who we are called to be as a follower of Christ. Let's do this hard work of realization together. We are worth this and more in the eyes of Christ and if we look fully in each other's face, the eyes of each other. |
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OAKLAND IOWA UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
200 N Main St - PO #4, Oakland, IA 51560
Phone: (712) 482-5530 Church email: oaklandumc@oaklandiaumc.org Web site: www.oaklandiaumc.org Facebook: www.facebook.com/oakiamethchurch Church Office Hours: T - F 9:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. Pastor: Kim Dewey Email: kim.dewey@iaumc.net Phone: 712-887-0263 Pastor Kim observes Sabbath each Monday. In the case of an emergency, please do not hesitate to contact her by call or text, and she will respond as soon as possible.
All non-emergency calls, texts, and emails will be responded to the next day. Thank you for your thoughtfulness in assisting Pastor Kim with self-care in this way. It is greatly appreciated! Organist: Marilyn Hackett
Lay Leader: Merlin Jones 712-482-3687 Secretary: Martha Isaacson 712-482-5530 Custodian: Trevor & Megan Jefferson |