Reflections from Pastor Kim
What. A. Summer
did your summer fly by at the speed of warm, and maybe even scorching sunlight? It all went way too fast for me, including my time in Spiritual Renewal. What a gift it was to spend time with family and friends, but most importantly have dedicated, uninterrupted time with God. Before I left I told you I'd give you a synopsis of my experience, so here is just a little sampling of an enormous amount of reflections. It is not complete by any stretch of the imagination, but I will hit just a highlight or two.
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me.
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from far away.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways." Psalm 139:1-3
I have so many reflections of my time in silence and solitude, and time in God's Creation. I started out being very intentional, as I am inclined to do. There were books and needle crafts, and scripture readings lined up and a purpose for nearly every moment of my Renewal time. Then I went for my first session with my Spiritual Director and was instructed to put everything away. "WHAT? But, but, how do I spend any time with God," I replied. "With a blank canvas, and open mind and an open heart," came the reply. Huh! I had that immediate pit in my stomach that I had when I felt I hadn't prepared well for a test. I wasn't sure how to do nothing, and though I tried valiantly, and still try to leave some nothing time in each day, I often fail miserably. I was reminded, however, that failure is a lesson of what not to do, so I continue to work on honing the skill.
"Where can I go from your spirit?
Or where can I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there,
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
If I take the wings of the morning
and settle at the farthest limits of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me fast." Psalm 139:7-10
What drilled deep into my heart during this time, amongst a few other things which I'll share with you in time, is the never changing, always present love, acceptance, grace, power and glory of God. In order to fully acknowledge that takes time. Time without interruption or distractions. Time to sleep, even at times you would think were not appropriate sleeping times. Time to set all things aside to just be in God's presence. Time to let go. Time to not just give God our list of never-ending whining demands, but to sit in silence with God and listen for that voice to reply to our heart. And when we doubt or wonder, to sit again for confirmation.
I hope you'll be with me on this awkward journey through really letting go, and letting God fill our days to the extent that we forget to count the minutes with God, and instead focus on the minutes until we can sit with God again.
Be Blessed, be a blessing, and take someone with you on the journey!
Pastor Kim Dewey